


evveryday i get a little lonelier

by o0JayWolf0o



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Battlefield, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Character Death, Cults, Death, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gore, Hemospectrum, Land of Wrath and Angels, Loneliness, M/M, Murder, Mythological Roles, No Smut, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Sgrub, Pre-Sgrub, Quadrant, SGRUB, Temporary Character Death, Troll Romance, Trollian, Unrequited Love, all of that shit, haha eridan is in a cult, some more shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 16:50:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12214887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0JayWolf0o/pseuds/o0JayWolf0o
Summary: Eridan regrets a lot of things. He regrets his past romancing, his past carelessness, and his recklessness as a whole. What he does not regret, in the end, is dying to the feeling of a blade digging into his stomach.





	evveryday i get a little lonelier

**Author's Note:**

> quick note: eridan <3 oc is temporary and i didnt proofread this at all but i did do the pesterlog things   
>  thats about it   
>  also i read like 3 wiki pages to get this shit right bear with me here

Eridan Ampora.

The lowest caste of the seadwellers. A lonely troll. He considered himself royal only to people whom he didn’t know, and generally used his high caste to bribe people into getting things for him. He’ll admit he’s a bit of a douche, but he was truly just lonely.

He spent a lot of time on land. In fact, the only times he’s ever gone down the oceanic depths was when his lusus dragged him down there to meet other seadwellers.  Otherwise, he was completely. His lusus was usually in the water, doing whatever, and Eridan had no friends. He’d usually find out trolls’ trollian handle and talk to them for a while before flirting with them - which, Eridan defends himself by claiming ‘my lusus is out a lot so it’s real fuckin’ lonely’. Usually, this ended in a terminated friendship and a few minutes of trying not to let his ego (dangerously low) become too bruised. As he aged, he learned to present himself in a more...  _ passionate _ way, for a lack of better words. He began to wear a cape and jewlery his lusus found in the ocean, presenting himself as a royal who was not to be messed with.

Eridan often found himself venturing out onto land after a few minutes of swimming around. He would trek to a nearby lowblood neighborhood and check out what they had in shop. Really, it was just an excuse for attention. The rusties and bronze bloods feared him for the most part and sometimes even gave him free stuff (which he usually threw in his ever-growing pile for his future moirail, whoever that would be). He eventually landed in a quadrant with a burgundy, whose name was Jaffex. He was a wonderful matesprit who taught Eridan about military and war. Eridan then showed up to Jaffex’s shop nearly every day, devouring book after book on war tactics and mythological weapons that would cause global chaos.

Jaffex ended their relationship when he found a new quadrantmate. Eridan would have killed him, but didn’t have it in him to do such. He was depressed for weeks on end. Idly, he’d scan the shelves of his book case and try too hard not to think about how Jaffex’s hands felt when running up and down his back or the shy feeling of lips brushing his. He cried a lot then and spent more time underwater than usual - that is, one hour a day.

He moved on. He’d started exploring a new city, full of yellows and olives and jades. He read new things here. Novels of wizards and magic, stories of things he knew were fake but enjoyed nonetheless. He found himself fascinated with these things and he spent hours filling his thinkpan with useless information about wands and guns and white magic. He began to believe in magic, too. Eventually, he learned about something called SGRUB and kept a careful record on it, too. It was a prophesied game that would come to end Alternia. 12 trolls were to make it out alive, the message on the back of an old, rusty journal, spoke. A strong hope coiled itself around his blood pusher, the thought of him being one of those special trolls making him both giddy and queasy. Of course, with this, came new plans.

He began to despise land dwellers, insulting them when they stepped on his cape or simply killing one if it strayed too close to the broken ship he called a hive. Tales of his savagery spread through the couple towns he usually visited and the warmer hues of blood became more secluded than usual.

He was still depressed.

He started talking to some of the trolls around town then, looking for quadrant mates or just friends in general. Life was dull after Jaffex left him. He wanted that kind of joy again.

He met a few potential black interests and had a few flushed crushes he intended to follow through with. These usually ended with the other to back down and flee in fear of being killed. He needed a moirail, too, he found, as he trembled in his empty pile every few nights. His recuperacoon was inviting, yes, but sometimes he liked to imagine another troll behind him, chest flush against his back, shooshing him quietly and stroking his hair as they assured him everything would be okay in the end.

He started to use his husktop more. He met a few people. People like AG, CC, CG, and GA. He didn’t know any of their names, except CC. She was Feferi, apparently, and was a fuchsia blood. This of course surprised Eridan. A  _ fuchsia? _ Those were almost unheard of. There were only about 3 to 5 on the planet at one time, and, usually, they died to lack of like-blooded lusii or from the wrath of the condesce.

He fell deeply in love with Feferi and began to ask CG, who still refused to tell his name, about his issues. Infuriatingly, CG kept his blood color hidden. It was exhausting - Eridan asking what kind of mutations or psionics the guy had and simply being responded with CG closing their trollian log. He could have been a nice moirail if he’d returned his feelings or cared at all for Eridan. The only reason CG even talked to Eridan, he suspected, was because he likes to prattle on about his knowledge of romance. He took some of CG’s advice and pursued Feferi into a quadrant - though, not the right one. They began to meet after a while, which was when Feferi dragged him into a pile. Eridan was reluctant, his feelings of unrequited love stinging painfully in his chest, but sighed and told himself he cared for her. Maybe it’d work out eventually.

It did not.

It started out with him spilling everything, aside from his feelings toward her and SGRUB. He told her about Jaffex, his lusus, the murders he committed, all up to his plot to kill all land dwellers. Feferi had coaxed Eridan to stop the plan, but he would always shake his head no. He still cared about her, though, so he never followed through with it. Instead, he helped her take bodies of deceased or wiggler-less lusii and feed them to her horrorterrors. He spent most of his time following her underwater to help her feed the massive thing, which she had told him was named Gl’bgolyb. It sounded more like ‘glub glub’ to him, though, so he simply called it that.

AG eventually decided to meet up with him. He was fascinated in roleplaying with her and wanted to take it to the next level. Vriska, she had said, was her name. He developed a black crush on her and started roleplaying more fiercely, hate pulsing deep in his blood pusher every time he heard her stupidly amazing voice. They became kismesises and CG continued to help him out as much as it ‘PAINS MY BLOOD PUSHER TO BE HELPING ANYONE WITH VRISKA FUCKING SERKET IN THEIR QUADRANTS.’ He’d been happier then, with two of his quadrants filled. He was interested in CG, too, and began to flirt a bit red-ways with the boy. He was a met with a prompt ‘NO’ and talked about it with Feferi for a bit. Vriska had also found 8 dice and claimed them as her own while giving Eridan Ahab’s Crosshairs, a magic laser rifle. He failed to squeal about it at home because of its mass destruction, but coughed afterward and promised to never tell a soul what happened. His lusus was concerned.

Eridan learned CG’s name, too. Karkat. He made a few jokes but they got old fast and instead continued to vent about his feelings regarding Feferi. Every time he tried to vacillate with her, she got concerned and dragged him into a pile with her. He was forced to stop and eventually gave in, all hope of having her in a different quadrant out the window. 

He began to meet some of his friend’s friends. Eventually, his chumproll was full with members of the entire hemospectrum. That, and including Karkat, who still refused to tell what his god-forsaken blood color was. Eridan suspected it was olive or indigo, regarding his lack of psionics, fins, and need to be with the mother grub. He also didn’t want to meet in person, like AC, TA (Sollux), GA (Kanaya), AA, TC, and CT. Instead, he sent picture of himself, his sign blurred out and his hair a wild mess. It made Eridan feel something weird stir in his chest looking at that face that seemed so angry and frazzled. He pushed it aside.

Tavros (AT) was weird. He stuttered a lot and had huge horns that rendered his ability to wheel through doorways nigh impossibly. He was also crippled, which confused Eridan, but his kismesis proudly revealed it was his doing. Terezi (GC) was blind, and, Eridan found out that Vriska’s lack of an arm was due to her roleplaying with Terezi. The sniggering blind troll was also blind because of Vriska, which kind of scared Eridan, but Kanaya promised to auspistize if anything abusive happened in his and Vriska’s kismesistude. 

Vriska broke off their kismesistude, though, shortly after a failed RP session. She said she just wasn’t feeling the hatred any more and that she genuinely enjoyed Eridan’s company. He vented to Feferi about this only because she wouldn’t let up. Normally, he didn’t like to tell her about much, but he figured it was okay this time. When Feferi soothed him with something along the lines of ‘your magic will woo )(er back, shorely!’, he’d told her that he no longer believed in magic. When asked why, he shrugged. ‘it’s a ridiculous concept, fef. besides, evveryone’s been tellin’ me it’s fake, so it’s high time i start fuckin’ listenin’ to ‘em.’ He’d fallen asleep in her arms that night.

The time of SGRUB rolled around. He was scared and excited and very, very nervous. When his lusus died, he had wept quietly, apologizing for never wanting to go underwater with him anymore and wishing he could take back what he never did. He threw the corpse into his kernel, though, and pretended it never happened.

When he made it to his world, he began to murder the angels there. He knew they were friendly, but they were so fucking  _ annoying _ . Eventually, they began to attack him, but they were easy to kill if you had patience. When he helped Feferi into her world, she struck him up with a conversation on Trollian.

She ended their moirallegiance.

Needless to say, Eridan didn’t take it well. He was angry at first, then confused, then sad. He’d gotten so used to the idea that she was his moirail that he’d dragged her into piles occasionally instead of the other way around. He took his chance, though, and asked her if she’d vacillate. He still remembers her indigenous ‘no!’ sporting on his screen and his lips trembling with the effort not to part and sob.

He never got over her. Just like with Jaffex, he decided to pretend it had never existed. He removed her items from his pile and tossed them on the ground for his consorts to take. He was sad and confused and didn’t really want to do anything other than lie on the ground and stare into the eyes of death for a while.

He knew his title. Prince of Hope. He had known it ever since he learned about SGRUB, or, well, guessed that was him. He was a prince, surely, and as young and naive as he had been back then, he was surely hopeful. Now, though, he hated it. All he wanted to do was  _ destroy _ hope. If he couldn’t be happy, why should anyone else be?

During the attack on the battlefield, he screamed and let all of his rage out on the king. He did a big amount of damage - nowhere near as much as Gamzee, though. Eridan suspected he was the alleged Bard of Rage he’d read about in the old testament. He didn’t care too much to find out, though.

They won. They killed the king and found themselves on their lilypad in the incipisphere. Karkat had smiled - actually smiled - and it made Eridan’s sad little blood pusher warm the slightest. He knew Karkat’s blood color, now, too, after seeing the troll covered in red. He’d thought it was blood from the king, and Karkat had convinced him it was, but even after washing off, he bled.

Before they were able to open the door, something green and powerful appeared and energy crackled in the air for a split second. The grinding sound of metal on metal cut through the air - ‘ _ sching! _ ’. The door was split in half and the SGRUB symbol began to tilt dangerously before falling backward, into the void below.

Fuck.

They made it to a meteor in the veil with help from Vriska’s god tier powers, Terezi’s rocket pack, Aradia’s psionics, and Tavros’ rocket propeller. Eridan was fine for a while, trolling a futile species labelled ‘humans’ that he’d helped create. He was sad, bored, and lonely, though, and found places to sit and think. 

Gamzee snapped.

It started with his disappearance and frantic scuttling in vents. It was strange to think about - why was their high, friendly, juggalo friend scurrying around in the dull tunnels? But then he began to leave notes around, colored with purple. It was clearly his own blood.

Eridan ended up snapping, too. He murdered Sollux in a fit of rage and when Feferi had fuchsia tears rolling down her flushed cheeks and pointing an accusatory finger at Eridan, he couldn’t take it anymore and murdered her, too. He was grimdark, he knew, and he knew his skin was darker than usual and his hair a bright white.

He killed Kanaya, too. But what he wasn’t expecting was the revving of a chainsaw behind him. He turned around too late.

Pain. That’s all he had felt as he was sawed brutally in half, his torso falling on the ground and his consciousness dissipating.

He was dead. He knew he deserved it. He’d killed his ex-moirail’s matesprit out of jealously and then murdered her, too. He’d killed one of his best friends, and destroyed the last thing of hope any of the trolls had - the matriorb. He truly was the Prince of Hope, if you knew prince had two meanings, one being a destroyer.

And as he awoke in a dreambubble, all signs of his injury gone and his eyes a bristling white, he knew he was okay with this. He’d be lonely forever, sure. But oh, dear, he’d had such a complicated life and he was glad it ended.

It almost made him happy to be out of their lives.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos n comments are appreciated   
>  [ tumblr ](https://o0jaywolf0o.tumblr.com)


End file.
